I can’t quite figure out why International adoption doors keep closing for us, but for some reason they do. December 2011 I made the call with my Visa information for Gentle Path (the agency that looks after International Adoption within NB) and received an e-mail saying my card was declined. This didn’t make any sense to me as I had used it that day and I have good credit (in fact it’s nearly paid off now thanks to the Lord’s provision). Ben figured they must have got a number wrong when I phoned, but I sensed in my spirit that we needed to pray about it more.
Then came January 2012. I was doing a partial fast and praying about our family. What were we to do? Financially things were tight and there were debts we had been trying to get paid off. We’re still trying to get our debts looked after, but I know I can’t limit God when it comes to our finances. During this time I felt the Lord saying, “You say you’ll be happy if you are not blessed with more children, but do you mean it? Are you willing to accept having an only child?” I really wrestled with this as I long for James to have a sibling(s). Oddly enough, Ben began thinking the same way, and we began having conversations like, “Maybe this is it. Maybe we need to just leave our name out there and see what happens. The doors keep closing Internationally. Maybe we need to wait.”
Monday, January 23, I received a phone call I’ll never forget. It was from a friend of mine. We began our usual conversation with how things were going etc. but then she said she had to tell me something and started crying. I tried to guess. “Is it school? Do you have some sort of sickness?” Then she told me that she was pregnant. She had broken up with her boyfriend the previous month, found out she was pregnant, told him, and his response wasn’t very encouraging. I told her that perhaps she was ready for motherhood and that she had time to think things through. She insisted she wasn’t ready. When I asked her if I could confide in Ben so he could be praying for her as well, she said, “Actually, I was wondering if you and Ben would consider adopting the baby.”
“What? You don’t need to make this decision now. You have time to decide,” was my response.
You see, Ben and I have had people contact us before saying they know of someone who is pregnant who “might be” considering adoption. We’ve even been phoned before on more than one occasion and asked, “Would you consider if…” That being said, we don’t tend to get overly excited when things like this come up.
My friend insisted that she wouldn’t have asked if she wasn’t 100% sure. Knowing both Ben and I, and knowing what we’ve been through, she said she wouldn’t want to hurt us.
Thus began the journey to Baby Canney #2.
I’m sure some of you are wondering who this birth mom is. Some of you already know. If you do know, please refrain from hinting at who she is or naming her online. Some of you need to rest in not knowing. Eventually you may find out, but you need to respect us and respect her. I’ve already received some questions from people that have surprised me with regards to finding out information. I know that I am open about things, but in this case, openness online is not an option. When we want you to know, we’ll tell you.
I’ve also received some interesting comments like, “If something goes wrong and she has a miscarriage or changes her mind, you’ll be alright because you have James.” Yes, I understand your meaning, and yes, we will be alright, but I need to remind you our hearts are in love with this little baby. We will grieve a loss if something goes wrong, but we will continue to love and support our friend. If I were pregnant, would you say that to me? I write this not to be insensitive, but to educate. Please think before you speak. We know you love and care about us and would not intentionally hurt us. I just want to help protect other adoptive couples out there who deal with various comments as well.
We haven’t met the birth dad and we’re not sure if we will get to. It’s really up to him. He recently informed the birth mom that he wanted nothing to do with her, the baby, or us. He still needs to sign the paperwork, but at this point it sounds like the birth mom is going to let Social Services handle meetings with him.
The birth mom also recently found out she has a uterine infection. She isn’t too concerned about it and has been prescribed some meds, but I would appreciate your prayers, as reading up on uterine infections during pregnancy has me concerned.
Then I look at James and I think how many times during his pregnancy I wondered, “Is birth mom eating enough? Is she remembering her vitamins?” There was even a genetic risk of poland syndrome, and yet, James is extremely healthy. God had everything under control.
And so, I rest in knowing that God will protect this baby. God knows our needs. If something goes wrong, He will give us the strength we need when the time comes. Come what may, we will love this little baby. We already do.
Baby Canney #2, we can’t wait to meet you. We look forward to seeing you via ultrasound this week!
Faithful readers, I’m sorry for the wait. I will definitely be posting this week about the ultrasound!