A lot has happened since I wrote last, but I will do my best to stick with the basics. I’m also going to try and update this more regularly according to circumstances. I believe that during the next few months even more prayer is needed for all who are involved.
If you’ve been in the world of facebook, you have met the birth mom – “Auntie” Wendy. In the coming weeks we hope to revamp our site and include a picture of her as well.
Just last month we had an opportunity to go to Ottawa, and while there the Lord provided us with some great deals on a stroller as well as a dresser for the baby’s room. Ben’s mom and step-dad were so kind as to provide our means for going to Ottawa and even bought a new crib for their little grandson’s nursery.
We also had a visit from some friends who are struggling with infertility as well. They are older than us and are considering adopting older children. They brought some things that they had intended for their own baby’s room. It was rather humbling. I know how much the woman, in particular, yearned for a baby, and here she was, giving me some things that were meant for her dream nursery. Although the theme of them is different that what I am intending, I will take great care of these things. They were passed on to her from a lady who’s nursery didn’t work out for certain reasons as well, so here’s hoping that after all of this time, they have found a home with a baby boy.
The nursery is slowly taking shape and once it is painted I have invited Wendy to come and help me figure out where to put furniture and put away clothes etc. I still can’t believe that I might get to be a mom in 8 weeks. We are now down to doctor’s appointments every two weeks. We still don’t know if Wendy will have to have a C-section or not as at the last doctor’s appointment the ultrasound results hadn’t been sent to the doctor; however, we will find out on December 21 at the next appointment. Speaking of ultrasounds, I asked the doctor about pictures (since the local hospital here doesn’t provide you with ultrasound pictures), and he said rather than go through the hasel of trying to pay for some from the hospital they were sent to, he would do an ultrasound for us at the next appointment and take some pictures. How thoughtful! I can’t wait to see the little guy again. Last time he blinked at us!
Social services is now getting involved with the process. Wendy has met with them and has since had to make contact with the birth dad. It is best if he signs off on things too; otherwise, he could take us to court later on if he so chose. He is meeting with social services this coming Tuesday. After talking to Wendy about her recent conversations with him, we decided that it would be best for us to meet him. She suggested we meet at our house. His appointment with social services is this Tuesday at 2:00, and then afterwards (most likely between 3:00 and 3:30), he and Wendy will come to our house. I must admit that I get nervous just thinking about it! At various times my fears and “what-if’s” have got the best of me, but then I’ve had to remind myself of how the Lord has brought us thus far and will continue to be our refuge no matter what. I’m always trying to think of the bigger picture as well. There is a reason for everything. Although most people think of our current situation as opportunity for us to become parents (which is a huge deal and we hope it will be so), I also think about how our lives are now connected to Wendy and will always be. I’m not sure what to expect from the birth dad. One of my fears is that he won’t like us. Please pray that things will go well. Please pray that things won’t be awkward and that it will be a positive experience for all of us. I have often thought about him and prayed for him, and I knew in my heart that we would eventually meet…I just never dreamed it would be this coming Tuesday.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m really going to get to be a mom in 8 weeks time. Ben and I continue to care about Wendy a great deal, and we just want her to be at peace with her decision. She seems to be, but I can only imagine the range of emotions she must be feeling. In the back of my mind, I keep thinking that when she sees her firstborn son, she’ll change her mind about us. As mentioned before, I could never resent her for that. She has already proven herself to be a courageous young lady, and Ben and I will continue to love and support her no matter what. Love is commitment, and we feel we are committed to encouraging her – whether we get to be parents right away or not. As devastating as it would be to come home to an empty nursery, I have to continually remind myself that the Lord is my strength and my song, and that He will not give me more than I can bare. That’s the hope I hold onto.
As you pray for this coming Tuesday, I’d also ask that things with Social Services will go well. We need to meet with a lawyer to get some things looked after. It is crucial that we get this done right away so that we won’t have to have a risk assessment after the baby is born.
On a final note I’d like to mention that in the nursery is my Grammy Hoyt/Graham’s gliding rocking chair. Mom and Dad told us we could borrow it for the nursery. I’ve decided that it will be one of my new praying spots. I know that Grammy must have done a lot of praying in that chair. The arms of the chair are worn from where she rested her arms and most likely her elbows when she took time to read the Bible. I have to admit, that there’s a comfort in knowing that God will meet me in that place as He met with her many times. I so need His strength in the weeks to come.
Ben and I continue to appreciate your love, prayers, and support. I will do my best to update this either Tuesday evening or Wednesday after our meeting (Lord willing) so you can know how things went.