Sometimes I really have to marvel at our current circumstances. I think about how blessed we are to have been chosen for this. I think about how blessed we are to have such a sweet young lady to invest in and love. I think about how special this child must be. I look at all the pieces of the puzzle and am amazed at God’s timing and detail.
A week ago this past Thursday we had some pictures taken with the birth mom and then went out to eat with her. Perhaps to you, getting pictures together sounds crazy. At one time I may have thought so myself, but as I have gotten to know her, I thought, “This is a moment in time that will not be relived. Some day, our son may ask us about the way things were before he was born. He will see it in the letters I’ve been writing to him, but I want him to see it in the pictures too.” He will know that we were friends with his birth mom, because she will be a part of our lives, but I’d like for him to see how it was before we even met him – when he was growing and kicking inside of the womb. I want him to see how radiant his birth mom looked as she carried him, and how happy we were in anticipation of his arrival.
As we sat with the birth mom, eating and chatting, it just seemed to fit. We continue to learn more about who she is, what her past was like, and what she aspires to be.
Then, a few days later, she accepted an invite to come visit us at our home. She saw me in my silly red knitted slippers, cooking apron, and hair scarf while baking pie and Rice Krispie squares. She and I made muffins together while she, Ben, and I chatted away. Mom came over to meet her, and Dad checked out her vehicle as she was having some car troubles. Amazing isn’t it? Amazing how God can bring complete strangers together. He uses the most unlikeliest of circumstances so that we have no choice but to acknowledge just how awesome He really is.
Now that we know each other better, she chuckles at me when I tell her that she still has a right to change her mind. She thinks I have nothing to worry about. Yet I can’t help but wonder, when she looks into the eyes of her son, her very own flesh and blood – will she be able to give him away? As much as I would cry coming home to an empty nursery, I could never resent her for that.
One evening, Ben and I were talking about how selfless pregnant women are who choose adoption. When you think of it, it really is one of the most difficult decisions to make. Our birth mom could have had an abortion, and no one except the birth dad would have known. In fact, he did all her could to convince her this was the only way by telling her no one would want this baby and trying to scare her by saying the baby might be born with forms of disabilities. She had a choice: the birth dad or her child. That’s what it came down to, and she chose her child. So then she mustered up the courage to tell her mom. Then, she mustered up the courage to meet us. She wants her son to have the best life possible, and I can only hope and pray that we will live up to her expectations.
I still don’t completely feel like I’m going to be a mom in 3 and a half months, and I think it’s because I’m not the one who is pregnant. When I’m with the birth mom, I feel as though I am with a friend who is expecting, and that’s because I am. The difference is that this friend is going to allow me and Ben to raise her first-born child, and I can only hope that our friendship will be deeper and richer because of it. No matter what the outcome, it has to become deeper and richer, because we serve a God who is into relationship building. I really don’t know why He chose us, but Ben and I both remain humbled…thankful…blessed.